Cosher Bailey's Engine

Melody -

on the right, additional verses from footballers and rugby players

Cosher Bailey had an engine
It was always wanting mending,
And according to the power,
She could do four miles an hour
|: Did you ever saw*, :|
Did you ever saw
Such a funny sight before?

2. On the night run up from Gower
She did twenty mile an hour
As she whistled through the station
Man, she frightened half the nation.

3. Cosher bought her second-hand
And he painted her so grand
When the driver went to oil her
Man, she nearly burst her boiler.

4. Cosher Bailey's sister Lena
She was living up in Blaina
She could knit and darn our stockings
But her cooking it was shocking.

5. Cosher Bailey's brother Rupert
He played stand-off-half for Newport,
When they played against Llanelly
Someone kicked him in the belly.

6. Cosher Bailey had a daughter
Who did things she didn't oughter
She was quite beyond the pale
But over that we'll draw a veil.

7. Cosher Bailey went to Exford
For to pass matriculation
But he saw a pretty barmaid
And he never left the station.

8. Oh the sight it was heart-rending
Cosher drove his little engine
And he got stuck in the tunnel
And went up the bloomin' funnel.

9. Cosher Bailey's little engine
Couldn't even sound its hooter
Just to make the steam go higher
He made water on the fire.

10. Yes, Cosher Bailey he did die
And they put him in a coffin
But, alas, they heard a knocking
Cosher Bailey, only joking.

11. Well, the Devil wouldn't have him
But he gave him sticks and matches
For to set up on his own
On the top of Barford Hatches.

Cosher Bailey's auntie Lilly
Who lived down in Picadilly
She ran an institution
Teaching young girls elocution.

Cosher Bailey's cousin Morgan
Played a very large organ
It was long and it was narrow
And he wheeled it in a barrow.

Cosher Bailey's cousin Jake
He thought he was a snake
While crawling through the grass
One bit him on his ---elbow.

Cosher Bailey's auntie Lilly
Who lived down in Picadilly
Had a disease in her liver
And she overflowed the river.

Cosher Bailey's cousin Roger
Played a mean game of soccer
When he tried his hand at rugger
He looked a silly --billy.

Cosher Bailey's cousin Paul
Had but one eyeball
By design or by desire
He sung soprano in the choir.

* The chorus is not "Did you ever see?" It is "Did you ever saw?" It plays upon the Welsh pronunciation of English words which we refer to as "Wenglish". - with thanks to Robert Penry.

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