The Chivalrous Shark

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Melody -
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The most chivalrous fish in the ocean,
To the ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark,
The man-eating shark
Will eat neither woman nor child.

2. He dines upon seamen and skippers,
And tourists his hunger assuage
And a fresh cabin boy
Will inspire him with joy,
If he's past the maturity age.

3. A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
He'll gobble one any fine day.
But the ladies, God bless 'em,
He'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way.

4. I can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of Bream;
Who was tender and sweet
And delicious to eat,
Fell into the bay with a scream.

5. She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her bark.
And she'd surely been drowned
If she hadn't been found
By a chivalrous, man-eating shark.

6. He bowed in a manner most polished,
Thus soothing her impulses wild.
"Don't be frightened," he said,
"I've been properly bred,
And will eat neither woman nor child."

7. He proffered his fin and she took it,
Such gallantry none can dispute,
While the passengers cheered
As the vessel they neared,
And a broadside was fired in salute.

8. They soon stood alongside the vessel,
While a lifesaving dinghy was low'r'd.
With the pick of the crew
And her relatives few,
And the mate and the skipper aboard.

9. They hauled her aboard in a jiffy,
While the shark stood attention the while.
Then he raised on his flipper,
And ate up the skipper,
And went on his way with a smile.

10. Now this shows that the prince of the ocean,
To the ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark,
The man-eating shark
Will eat neither woman nor child.

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