Jumping Through the Hole

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Melody -
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from WWII

When first I came to PTS*, my CO he advised,
Take lots and lots of underwear you'll need it I surmise.
But I replied By god sir, whatever may befall
I'll always keep my trousers clean,
When jumping through the hole.

2. I went into the hangar, instructor by my side,
And on Kilkenny's circus had many a glorious ride.
On these ingenious gadgets, said he you'll learn it fall
So keep your feet and knees together
When jumping through the hole.

3. He swung me in the swing, boys he shot me down the chutes
He showed me the high aperture, I thought it rather cute,
Said he, This apparatus will teach you one and all,
To centralise your c of g**
When jumping through the hole.

4. I saw the gorgeous statichutes with camouflage design,
I heard the Warrant Officer shoot such a lovely line
This lovely bit of stuff lads said he upon my soul,
Is sweeter than your sweetheart,
When jumping through the hole.

5. One morning very early, cold and damp and dark,
They took me in a so called bus, out to Tatton Park,
In keeping with the weather I said to one and all
I take a dim and misty view
Of jumping through the hole.

6. He fitted me with parachute and helmet for my head
The sergeant looked with expert eye, it fits you fine he said,
I'll introduce you now to Bessy, that is what we call,
The nice balloon from which you'll soon
Jumping through the hole.

7. Okay, up six hundred, four to drop said he,
Four to drop Good God I cried, and one of them is me.
And clinging very grimly, to the handles in the floor
I cursed the day I volunteered
For jumping through the hole.

8. He told a funny story, I couldn't see the joke,
In fact I thought he was a most unsympathetic bloke
But when he shouted Action Stations, when he shouted Go
I simply could not stop myself,
From jumping through the hole.

9. I hit my pack, I rang the bell, I twisted twenty times.
I came down with both feet entangled in my rigging lines,
But floating upside down to earth, I didn't care at all,
For I had kept my trousers clean
When jumping through the hole.


* Parachute Training School
** "center of gravity"

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